> 20 Words That Should Exist
> by Rich Hall
> 
> 1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)
> adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
> 
> 2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)
> adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off
> with your toes.
> 
> 3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)
> n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its
> perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck
> the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
> 
> 4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)
> n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself
> through the grill into the coals.
> 
> 5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks)
> n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones
> and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are
> not connected.
> 
> 6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
> n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of
> lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
> examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one
> more chance.
> 
> 7. DIMP (dimp)
> n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking,
> "Do you work here?"
> 
> 8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')
> v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by
> blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.
> 
> 9. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)
> n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview
> mirror.
> 
> 10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)
> n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no
> matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
> 
> 11. ELBONICS (el bon' iks)
> n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a
> movie theater.
> (or on an airplane!)
> 
> 12. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)
> n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button
> the faster it will arrive.
> 
> 13. FRUST (frust)
> n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust
> pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally
> decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
> 
> 14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)
> n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly
> that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.
> 
> 15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)
> n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
> 
> 16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')
> n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be
> walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
> 
> 17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik)
> adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household
> pet.
> 
> 18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
> The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you
> were calling just as they answer.
> 
> 19. PUPKUS (pup' kus)
> n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose
> to it.
> 
> 20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)
> n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before
> you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
>