>From: krajewsk@iastate.edu (Scott Krajewski)

    If Operating Systems Ran Airlines
    
    (From a talk by an IBM employee who shall remain nameless)
    
    DOS Airlines
    
        Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then jumps on and 
    let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, 
    jump on again and so on.
    
    DOS with QEMM Airlines
    
        The same thing but with more leg room to push.
    
    MAC Airlines
    
        All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers and 
    ticket agents look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time 
    you ask questions about details, you are told yo don't need to know, 
    don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without you 
    having to know, so just shut up.
    
    OS/2 Airlines
    
        To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10 different times 
    by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form showing 
    where you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an ocean 
    liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board 
    the plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a 
    wonderful trip . . . . except times when the rudder and flaps get 
    frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and 
    get yourself prepared before the crash.
    
    WINDOWS Airlines
    
        The airport terminal is nice and colourful, with friendly stewards 
    and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and an uneventful takeoff 
    ... then the plane blows up without warning whatsoever.
    
    NT Airlines
    
        Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison and 
    forms the outline of a plane. Then they all sit down and make a 
    whooshing sound like they're flying.
    
    UNIX Airlines
    
        Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to 
    the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together 
    piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they are 
    building.