Some Interesting answering machine announcements:

     My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave
     your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

     Hello, you've reached Izzy and Liz.  We can't pick up the phone right
     now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.  Liz likes doing
     it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly.  So
     leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back
     to you.

     A is for academics,
     B is for beer.
     One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

     Hi.  This is John Bodo.  If you are the phone company, I already sent
     the money.  If you are my parents, please send money.  If you are my
     financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.  If you
     are my friends, you owe me money.  If you are a female, don't worry, I
     have plenty of money.

     (Narrator's voice:)  There Darren Kruger sits, reading a magazine.
     Suddenly the telephone rings!  The bathroom explodes into a veritable
     maelstrom of toilet paper, with Darren in the middle of it, his arms
     windmilling at incredible speeds!  Will he make it in time?  Alas no,
     his valiant effort is in vain.  The bell hath sounded.  Thou must
     leave a message.

     Hi.  I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
     me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

     Please leave a message.  However, you have the right to remain silent.
     Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.