Marry Not An Engineer


Verily I say unto you, marry not an engineer; for the engineer is a 
strange being possessed by many devices; yea, he speaketh in parables 
which he calleth formulae, and he wieldeth a big stick which he calleth 
a slide rule; he hath but one bible - a hand book.

He talketh away of stresses and strains and of no end of thermodynamics; 
he showeth always a serious aspect and seemeth not to know how to smile; 
and he picketh his seat on the car by the number of springs therein, and 
not by the damsel thereon.  Neither does he know a waterfall except for 
its power, not a sunset but for its specific heat.

Always he carrieth books with him, and he entertaineth his maiden with 
steam tables.  Verily, though the damsel expecteth chocolates, when he 
calleth, he opens the package to reveal samples of a new alloy.

Yea, though he holdeth a damsel's hand, but only to measure friction, 
and he kisseth only to test viscosity.  For in his eye shineth a faraway 
look which is neither love nor longing, but a vain attempt to remember 
an equation.

Even as a boy, he pulleth a girl's hair but to test its elasticity, and 
as a man he discovereth different devices.  For he would hold a maiden 
to his bosom only to count the palpitations of her heart, and to reckon 
the strength of her material.

Alas!  his marriage is a simultaneous equation, involving two unknows 
and yielding a periodic function.

						Anonymous