Ok, before you read this you have to know which is your favorite part of
 Lucky Charms.  Here are your options:

 *green clovers
 *blue diamonds
 *orange stars
 *pink hearts
 *purple horseshoes
 *yellow moons
 *the oat bits
 ----------

 LUCKY CHARMS

 Amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow bit
 shape determines what you're like in bed! Yes, it's true --- just take this
 simple test to determine your true bedroom personality:

 Green clovers: If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is the green
 clover, you're a happy-go-lucky type in bed. You don't take anything too
 seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always manage to have a good
 time, even if you have someone else with you. You don't have any patience
 with depressed people and tend to sit on them until they cheer up.

 Blue diamonds: If your favorite marhmallow shape is the blue diamond, your
 thoughts in bed are mostly about what you'll get later. "If he really
 enjoys this, will he buy me that mink coat?" is probably what's going
 through your mind. People who like blue diamonds have a notebook of
 preprinted fill-in-the-blank palimony suit forms and are the people most
 likely to file their nails while making love.

 Orange Stars: If your favorite shape is the orange star, you expect to be
 the center of attention in bed. You expect your partner to spend most of
 his time pleasing you and when you do something for him, you expect
 enthusiastic moaning if not applause. People who like orange stars often
 have mirrors over their beds, not because they are turned on by watching
 what is being done, but because they want to be able to watch themselves
 having a good time. They often moan out their own names while making love.

 Pink hearts: If you like pink hearts, you're the romantic type. You like
 your partner to whisper romantic phrases into your ear and, if he's too
 distracted to form coherent phrases, you'll settle for romantic syllables.
 People who like pink hearts read most of the romance novels published and
 are turned on by people wearing armor.

 Purple horseshoes: If purple horseshoes are your thing, your tastes are
 modern, uninhibited, and somewhat warped. You like variety in the bedroom,
 especially when you can include handcuffs, chains, swingsets, and chocolate
 pudding. Be careful when going out on a picnic with anyone who likes purple
 horseshoes--she's likely to pin you down with croquet hoops when you're not
 looking and who knows what could happen next?

 Yellow Moons: If you're the yellow moon type, you're more interested in
 satisfying your partner's needs than your own. You prefer to lie back and
 wait for your partner to jump on you and express her needs verbally or
 nonverbally.  People who like yellow moons usually own several pairs of
 handcuffs and other instruments of kinky sex just in case someone should
 ever want to tie them up and ravish them. Keep your eyes open for anyone
 who eats all the purple horseshoes out of her cereal as soon as she opens
 the box.

 Those little oat bits that aren't marshmallows at all: If you prefer the
 little oat bits, you probably don't like sex anyway and don't need to read
 this article. People who prefer the oat bits usually become accountants,
 librarians who work at the reference desk, or government employees; these
 people like to chow down on a big bowl brimming with oat bits before a
 tough day of protesting suggestive lyrics in rock music. People who like
 oat bits have more time to spend writing letters to the editor than any
 other type.

 Enjoy your Lucky Charms!
 **************************************************************

P.S. the editor doesn't know why the original author neglected the red 
balloons...

P.P.S. moses is a purple horseshoe girl!