>                         THE FACTS OF LIFE
> 
> 1.  Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill.  Check 3 friends.
> If they're OK, you're it.
> 
> 2.  Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  "Yes" is the answer.
> 
> 3.  A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
> 
> 4.  It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
> 
> 5.  Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
> 
> 6.  If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
>     COROLLARY : If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you
> live.
> 
> 7.  The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
> appreciates how difficult it was.
> 
> 8.  It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
> to         others.
> 
> 9.  Paul's law: You can't fall off the floor.   ( I don't understand this one.)
> 
> 10. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the
> average         man can see better than he can think.
> 
> 11. Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems.  It's easy to
> critisize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
> 
> 12. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel
> happy to be on your way.
> 
> 13. Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.
> 
> 14. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you
> left         them to where you can't find them.
> 
> 15. Law of Probability Dipersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not
> be         evenly distributed.
> 
> 16. Suplement: a .44 Magnum beats 4 aces.