The Rules of Bedroom Golf

1)  Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally 
one club and two balls.

2)  Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3)  Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and 
keep the balls out of the hole.

4)  For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.  Course 
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5)  Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to 
avoid damage to the hole.

6)  The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until 
the course owner is satisfied that play is complete.  Failure to do so 
may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7)  It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon 
arrival at the course.  The experienced player will normally take time 
to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers.

8)  Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or 
are currently playing to the owner of the course being played.  Upset 
course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this 
reason.

9)  Players are cautioned to have proper rain gear along, just in case.

10) Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before 
attempting to play the back nine.

11) Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly 
scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first 
time.  Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover 
someone else playing what they conside r to be a private course.

12) Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all 
times.  Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be 
temporarily under repair.  Players are advised to be extremely tactful 
in this situation.  More advanced players will find alternate means of 
play when this is the case.

13) Slow play is encouraged; however, players should be prepared to 
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the owner's request.

14) It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play 
the same hole several times in one match.

15) The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

16) In some states, it is illegal for a course owner to require (or for 
the player to offer) a greens fee in excess of the price of dinner.  
Course owners must be careful that play not be proposed to members of 
the vice squad.

17) Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at 
any given course.  Additional assessments may be levied by the course 
owner and the rules are subject to change.  For this reason, many 
players prefer to continue to play several different courses.